Birthday Tribute (A True Artist Who Taught Me A lesson I will Never Forget)

Today is my birthday, and as hard as I tried, I may not have any new posts up today, I'm trying to "Celebrate" and am still not feeling it yet, if I do update the blog further you'll be alerted via the new T.A.A. Twitter feed, which you can find here. 

Before I was using my Author Twitter feed, but it is more streamlined and less spammy to separate my Author Twitter feed and the one for T.A.A.

In the spirit of the "Random Acts of Kindness Blitz" that's going on other blogs today, I'd like to send special thanks to someone I've spent the last year working with on a project I wasn't ready to talk about, and while the plans for this project are delayed for various reasons (Lack of money sadly being one of them) she deserves my deepest, most sincere gratitude.

Illustrator Ellie Record

Aside from being a joy to work with, my experience with her will explain in part why T.A.A. was yet again "Going Dark" with no new posts.

Late last year I was seriously considering going the self-publishing route when lack of interest in my middle grade novel, and being unable to find my next story with agents left to try with it, it seemed my only option left, so I looked into finding ways to essentially launch my own indie press.

However, unlike some of my writer friends who took a more simple DIY approach, which can certainly work, as in their case, I personally saw the idea of going indie differently, not necessarily better, but different. I wanted my brand to look no less professional than the few, and thus hard to reach independent publishers that have survived past the early years of the recession and continue to thrive.

Unlike T.A.A.'s logo, which I've grown to love (Though not quite what I envisioned), its fine for a blog, but I need every aspect of my indie press, including the logo, to evoke three key things-

1. Professional (I don't shortchange what my best work deserves)

2. Playful (For the kinds of books I'd self-publish under this brand)

3. High Quality (Books from Candlewick Press and Dutton Children's Books is what I personally strive toward)

I spent much of last year, mostly through the summer, trying to find illustrators who could deliver the quality and style of illustration for a price I could actually afford, but even one drawing or sketch costs more money than I've ever had in my life, but then I found Ellie, and she was gracious enough to guide me through the basics of art direction, and even negotiate pricing.

However, here's where the story take a shameful (On my part) turn...

I had agreed to a price that I felt I could pay at the time without too much difficulty, but I didn't budget like I should and delayed it for months after she delivered the art I needed for the logo, and this weighed heavy on my conscience for months, which caused me to be unfairly short with people. 

Especially the writers in my support circle, who I never told about any of this, they knew I wanted to go indie, but nothing about the mess I got myself into with commissioning art that while under $1000 USD, was something I shouldn't have done without having it at the time.

For the writers in my support network who I hurt during this time (You know who you are) I again apologize. 

 I've since resolved the payment issues, but the aftermath of my mishandling things caused tensions between my grandma (My stand-in parent) and me, to explode, and we were already on shaky ground with each other before this, but thankfully she got something out of Mother's Day, more than I can say.


After today, that's one thing I'd be okay with staying in neutral, for both our sanity's sake.

Now for those of you who might deservedly think, "Why go through with something you didn't have the money for right then?" and this is the only honest answer I can give-

I believe in my writing. 

As much as I still agonize over the process, nothing I've done up to now has been fake, and every time I come to the computer, I push myself hard, maybe too hard sometimes.


However, the more ambitious your goals, the more I feel you have to surpass your limits to achieve your dreams. 


Sometimes this turns me into a jerky tyrant, and I'm not proud of that, and what it did to my writer friends, but thankfully they know any rage is rarely ever about them.


Only the effort from sharpening my skills and not letting harshly conflicting critiques (However valid) stop me.


I didn't do this to get rich (But I do need/want to make some money, and there's a happy medium between earning pennies versus millions, that's all I say about that), I did this as a proactive declaration of what I'm able and willing to do, so I can finally open some doors, after years of being blocked by closed ones. 


But that blinded me to the logistics of my situation.

While for some of you, spending over $400 is not a big investment (Medical bills, home mortgages and car and student loans can go well beyond that), I took what for me, and my life at this point time, is a BIG risk. Not just in money or time, but putting absolute faith in reaching the readers who will give my way of storytelling a chance, and prove to myself that there are still readers who connect with what I write, and by building a large and vocal enough following, I might open doors that otherwise remained closed to me.

Long shot, I know, but it DOES happen.


Despite how negative I can unintentionally come across, I'm really an optimist, even when it looks naive, it's how I maintain even an ounce of sanity on the worst days. Today is thankfully not of those days. 

Generally speaking, despite some of the angst and touchiness about self-publishing going away, it's still not easy or affordable to do it right, especially if you want to achieve professional results. 


I honestly feel it's the only way to logically reach readers who might still be wary of books outside the big 6, or small publishers like Candlewick or Holiday House, who have proven their mettle from many years and successful authors in the business, and I'm not just theorizing here.


As a reader myself, with little money to my name, I too have to be selective, since many of the books I'm interested in are never available in my library network where I live, and I often have to buy much of what I read, including the market guides, my local library, even through inter-library loan only has editions of CWIM (Children's Writers and Illustrator's Market) that are two to five years old. That won't do in finding markets THIS YEAR, and for those of you T.A.A. readers who are writers like myself, know what I'm talking about. 


It's why I get a bit testy when people tell me to utalize my library more, but aside from working out ways to get to the library, they rarely have the books I want to check out, and with the slow pace I read and retain information, I'm better off buying the book myself, so I can take my time, especially in the case of craft books or market/reference guides.

Maybe if I lived in a more book-friendly city, with far less debt, this wouldn't be as hard a problem.

Anyway, I sadly have been tempted to pack it in the past three years especially. As much as I take no one's gratitude and support for granted, there's still a difference between what my writer friends like about my writing, and finding either agents or editors who feel the same way, not to mention the readers I'm trying to reach in the first place. 

Back to the main point, in short I finally paid her for the initial sketches, but asked her to hold off coloring the art until the summer when I can pay that upfront a lot sooner, and hopefully that'll be cheaper than the initial sketches were, but they were worth the money I paid, and once the coloring's done you can the results when my indie press launches later this or next year. 

Originally, I planned to launch my indie press this month. But delays with the aforementioned logo art; limited funds to aid in book covers and other needed art, and the editorial process needed to weed out sloppy writing, not to mention the books I'm working on are either not emotionally, or technically ready to bring out--I had to delay the launch until things improve.

Ellie, thanks for being so patient and understanding of me the past year. I never intended or meant for things drag out this long. This has more to do with my lack of self-discipline and desperation on my part. I promise things will be different from this point on. 

As someone who can't create art visually the way you can, you deserved more than we agreed on, and I'm truly sorry for any inconvenience my delays of payment caused you.

Writers, there are two lessons I hope you can learn from this story-
1. Patience (Duh!)

2, Just as important, be willing to take (reasonable for your life and finances) risks.

Until Next Time, this your literary rat signing off for today.

Face Your Fear Friday - Episode 2

Face Your Friday is back, after a long (unplanned) hiatus. 


Just like with "Take A Chance Tuesday", I want to make this weekly feature more accessible to those you juggling far more than I can or do, but at the same time remember, facing one's fear's take TIME. 


All Face Your Fear Friday's about is taking the 
FIRST BABY STEPS to facing the writer fear of the week.


For example, if the theme was "Reading what Scares You" or "Name 5 writers you respect, even if their books are just not your thing, and why" all you have to do is admit and share a little from your personal experience. There are no right or wrong answers here.


Writers are all different, even if our goals overlap in the the general sense (Those of us who are struggling for their first SALE, be it book-length story or magazine piece, poem, etc. Already published writers trying to advance their career, etc) how we get there is varied, and some wait longer than others, but unless your naturally pragmatic in your thinking, you can feel alone in your frustration sometimes, especially if most of the writers you know are strong in areas your weak, and it's those weak areas that might be holding your writing back. 


Sometimes simply admitting to a fear, however off the wall it may be, is the first step to getting better at facing that fear and pushing past it to achieve your writer dreams and goals. You have to acknowledge your fear is REAL, no matter what anyone tells you, many writers I know don't feel the same level of frustration about writing YA level fiction, and don't have problems writing nonfiction, but these are barriers for ME, in the same way some of those pragmatical writers don't feel as in tune with their imagination as I do,


While that makes critiquing each other's work hard, we can appreciate what the other does better than us, and its imperative that support goes both ways.


With that said, let's get into this week's challenge.


All you have to do is answer the following question-


"If you could name ONE writer skill you could magically enhance, what would it be and why?"


My answer: Better Query Letters, Better Query Letters, Better Query Letters!


Why? Because these letters are becoming all the more vital, but I HATE writing them regardless, because it's easy to feel like the most hapless writer on Earth because they have to be so professional without being soulless, and anyone who takes this lightly will be sorry, that's as much speaking from my personal experience as it is a friendly warning.


Now it's your turn! Share you answers to this week's challenge in the comments below.


Please keep your answer PG-13 and below, and please stay on topic (No "I don't have time to comment" type comments) comment when you do have time, or try again for next Friday's challenge.


I moderate the comments on T.A.A. and will not approve posts that don't follow the guidelines.


Your answers must be posted by Friday, April 20th, 2012, Noon EST, think of it as a mild time challenge, since for some of us, admitting to fear or weakness is a BIG DEAL, and sharing it among our fellow writers can help take the fear away, or at least bring it down to less traumatic levels, and we may even find a precious gem of advice, insight or a comrade-in-revisions (Comrades in Arms for writers, get it?) that will serve us well for the future.


Anyway, see you here next Friday.


UPDATE (4/20/12): Commenting Closed.

Musical Musings #1.5 (Special Cheer Up Edition)

Sorry I was MIA last week, lots of non-writing related, as well writing related snafus brought me down, and the blog, along with my new WIP novel suffered because of it.


I won't say much now to avoid a rant that helps neither you nor me, so instead, here's a video I hope will lift your spirits, as it does mine. (All you die hard realists, the following video might be seen as sappy and too cute to exist, but some of us need it to avoid being drunks or bitter old sticks in the mud, okay?)


Everyone else, enjoy! 

Ciao for now,
Taurean

P.S. Don't worry, there will be a proper Musical Musings review later this week if not today, but until things improve on my end, my posts will be late at times, but I will update some this week.

The Dangers of Rivalry - Part 2 (The Overlooked Upsides)

If you haven't read Part 1: Click Here!

Side Note: I apologize for falling behind in the posts I wanted to do, but yesterday got a bit out of hand, so it'll take some time to catch up.

Now onto to the continuing discussion of Rivalry, and it's overlooked assets...

Earlier this week I shared the dangers and pitfalls associated with rivalry, when you let negativity have a field day with your life, it

eclipses all the benefits

That's not to say rivalry never hurts, it certainly can, even with the best of intentions, but while it's true there is no life without struggle, we also were not given life to know know struggle.

To understand all sides to rivalry, let's stop and think about what a "rival" really is.

I looked up the definition again and found out something interesting-

As defined in the dictionary-

Rival

1.  A person who is competing for the same object or goal as another, or who tries toequal or outdo another; competitor.

2.   A person or thing that is in a position to dispute another's preeminence or superiority.

We often associate most rivalry with the first two definitions. In the case of writers, the drive and effort we put into seeing our words in print, whether we follow the traditional model of getting published, become our own publishers (Print or Digital), or some combo thereof, and each path has its own set of challenges, and rivals who either beat us to the punch, or excels at what we're weakest at, often testing our resolve.

But let's start to consider the third meaning of Rival-

3. Obsolete . A companion in duty.

I think this "obsolete" definition of a rival, is the grey area where many frustrated writers, myself included, have a pathetically hard time accepting.

As well as appreciating.

Think about this a moment. A companion is another word for "A Friend." Duty has many meanings, but for writers, I think it's best context is "Responsibility."

Being a good friend or "Companion" is to give of yourself, and accept the help of others when given and is needed.

In this context, rivals can help us find the answers within ourselves, what we want and don't want to be, and how to use the knowledge gained from such experiences to do better by others, thus being better people to ourselves.

Rivalry doesn't have to be fueled solely on anguish or hatred, of oneself and others, but used as guide to being better writers, who in turn can guide the next generation, if only to say: "I've really been where you are, and if you don't quit, it will get better."

Think of a rival as having an aggressive (But NOT heartless) mentor. Someone who you share some common ground. This is why reading in our genre's so important. We can learn from those who love our niche the same as you do, as much as you may differ on the particulars, the passion you share in it is timeless.

Of course, this extends to all writers (Storytellers in this context) in all areas, but for the sake of simplicity, your niche genre(s) is the best starting point.

I realized in writing this that I'll need more than 2 or 3 parts to cover this topic properly, so look out for another installment next week.

Quantity over Quality

UPDATE (8/18/11): Edited for clarity. 

No, I'm not saying quality should take a backseat to quantity in general, because no one's getting far these without turning in polished work as competition gets fiercer.

But you can't improve what's not there.

By that I mean we can't improve writing we haven't written.

So many stories stay stuck inside writer's noggins and never see the page, or computer screen, because we let fear of writing another dud stifles our output and the joy that only comes from just doing it.

While chances are much of what we write isn't publishable, it can be hard to go from project to project, not unlike an assembly line, because in order to write our best work, we have to invest our passion as well as the time to physically produce it.

When projects don't sell or improve, even after years of refining and tweaking, it can just be da** frustrating and scary to begin again, for fear of the same outcome. While I agree with the countless number of writers who've told me that this shouldn't stop me from writing entirely, it's vital to let ourselves know it's OKAY. We can't let these fears rule our lives, and stop us from writing, but for the sake of our artist's sanity, we must acknowledge they exist.

Admitting your pain doesn't make you weak, just don't let it warp your mind, or rule your life from the shadows, both of which happened to me many times. Only until I hit rock bottom do I see the mess I put myself in.

This year, I will get back much of the diligence and joy I'd lost, when I let what frustrates me about writing get in the way of actually writing, and to do that, I must relearn a skill I had at the beginning. Something I lost when things got tough. Just writing my story.

Not thinking about agents, editors, query letters and the like until I've written the story from beginning to end, no matter how rough it will be, because I can only improve by having something to improve. For me, my writing output is more important right now than overall quality.

Fear can't take hold of a writer who blazes his temples on the keyboard.
(Or for those of you who write early drafts in longhand: Gripping tight to one's pencil, or pen, as the writer scribes with sharp, and almost rhythmic precision)


Charging in replaces Worry with Work!

That said, once daily (Or consistent) writing has become a natural part of you routine, you will feel good about having things out of your head and in plain sight on the page, and yes, it will be rough, and feel like you're just setting yourself up for nightmarish edits or rewrites down the line, but remember, the point at the beginning is to have your story on the page, and finding joy in that alone.

If you're a writer who's more comfortable with thinking analytically, you can adjust the flow of drafting to meet your needs, or the needs of a particular project.

But for writers who are too petrified to write for fear of not improving, like me, just start typing now!
Longhand drafters, pen or pencil it out, without looking back!

Right now, you need to get a draft your eyes can see, and only then can you edit, remove, and revise as needed.

I know many writers who are quite comfortable with planning out the story as best they can before writing a draft, to lessen errors that come about from being too in the dark about the plot and motivations of the characters involved, but sometimes, or for some writers, just diving in's the best way.

I tried outlining many times, and truthfully I did learn many things worth learning, but often it made me a paranoid coward who barely wrote a few paragraphs, and while I do agree that knowing what you can in advance will make you less likely to stall finishing a draft of your story or novel, sometimes going in blind's the only way if you know dawdling's an issue for you.

Remember, the point of this exercise is to keep fear and self-doubt from having the chance to keep us from doing much of anything, the fear won't go away, but tell yourself you refuse let it add to the problem.

Now once you've finished a draft of your story, novel, or query letter (Hate those letters!) take the time to shift gears so editing is just another step in the process, and feels less like barbarism, and let's be honest, sometimes it does, positive as we try to be.

This is also the time to call back the Quality Control Cops. now that you've finished a draft of your manuscript, they're input in the form of beta-readers, writer's groups, and even your homicidal inner editor, will help you, not just hurt your resolve.

If I can do it, nearly anyone reading this now can as well, so do your creativity a favor. Finish the story already!

Until Then, to loosely quote Nike,
Just Write it!
Taurean

Take the "P" out of pain and add "G" for Gain

No Pain, No Gain.


At some point we've all heard or been told this phrase countless times in our lives. Especially in recent years, when our economy, government, and even Mother Nature dealt us pain we often fear they'll be no gain at all.


But this is neither a financial or political blog, this blog is for aspiring and emerging children's book writers, but trust me, I'm going somewhere with this.


Just like the troubling times going on worldwide, and in our respective homelands, every man, woman and child faces their own trials and triumphs. But just as our predecessors survived and thrived despite The Great Depression, and two World Wars almost back to back, we'll survive these tough times too, even though sadly many of us will recover far slower than others.


But while the modern phrasing of this now clichéd saying is most well known, it comes from an old proverb coined by one of America's most influential voices, Dr. Benjamin Franklin, who said in his Poor Richard's Almanac: There are no gains without pains.

While this witty pearl of wisdom is mostly used in modern times as a self-motivator to physical fitness, it definitely applies to writers to further understand our craft, and sharpen it, like a hand crafted Chinese meat cleaver.


You'd be surprised at some of the common turns of phrase we still parrot today were first penned or made it wittingly candid by him.


"A penny saved is a penny earned" is another of his most well known quotes.One I've yet to master, but at least I'm not drowning in debt, and that was a ditch I nearly dug myself in, but now I'm in the black and intend to stay that way.


But Time is Money, A place for everything, and everything in it's place, and even, Honesty is the best policy. They all came from the witty Doc Franklin himself, whose words no less true now as they were in colonial America, but despite all the ignorant prejudice and inequivalent among the American colonists faced with England, and even amongst themselves, imagine how scathing it could've been if we had colonial equivalent of television, Facebook, or Twitter? Can you say, "Social Death By Journalism?" 


I'll take Death by Chocolate instead, cake that is.


One of my favorite Franklin phrases is one I first heard in 2002-


"A learned blockhead is a greater blockhead than an ignorant one."


Peanuts Charlie Brown I imagine would find much solace in that quote. I sure do.


What I gather this means is that it's never too late to better one's education, or build character, and integrity where previously there was none. Something I think all writers, but especially newcomers to the field like me, need to remind ourselves every day, minute, and hour we live and on the endless journey to improve our writing, for ourselves, and the readers we one day want to have. 


Many wise and more patient writers than I always told me, the journey is more important than the destination. But I believe it's too stark a message. Though I've come to see the truth to it. The destination is still important. 


If it wasn't, many of the truly joyous moments in our lives, both as a country, as well as individuals, would've never occurred. I hope Ben's Words, and mine, bring you the comfort and joy I'm starting to find again.


I'll leave you with my all time favorite quote from Dr. Franklin I sincerely wish all my readers and fellow writers can achieve in some form, for their sake, and for the sake of the future generations of wordsmiths-


"We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately."



Until tomorrow,
May the fantastic fauna be with you.
Taurean


P.S: While I applaud Ben for his searing sentences that speak truths we often recoil against, but need to hear anyway, I feel sorry for dogs everywhere when he uses these loyal, brave, and playful companions as metaphors on the sins and frailties of human nature. But I did find one dog quote by Dr. Franklin that shows that loyalty. As an animal lover,  whether the creatures of fact, or fiction, it was a quote I was glad to find.


Many Thanks, Ben. Many Thanks.